The Black Widow Theories

get Loooose...!

2008-05-24T15:21:00.001+08:00

Just makes you want to dance.. damn..
Chris brown can really dance.. damn..
Just makes me wanna dance.. Damn!

there is peace

2008-05-08T23:18:00.003+08:00

signs of life. who are we to say that there is none around us. failure to see the things that matter versus not seeing the things that we want in the world.. which would give us greater satisfaction versus which is the right thing.
I see heaven where there isn't any to others. I find peace in a world of commotion. In times of great distress.. that's when I choose to smile.
I swear I just try and psycho myself into thinking as such but well, i can't say it doesn't work can I .. haa
These days, have been filled with just work, and home.. besides which the random phone calls, the usual walks.. It's what I'd call enjoying time by myself.. much needed after weeks of clubbing non stop.. If I don't take a breather.. then I can start registering into some hospital..
The busy is nice. The slower pace.. the slower songs..
Away from the hectic pace of moving around.. point to point.. dancing like there's no tomorrow..
For now.. I guess I couldn't want anything more.. the silence.. like a warm embrace.. nothing else could be more perfect..
It's heaven..

dance !

2008-04-24T22:20:00.003+08:00

Life is turning . again. I think. Happiness is something.... you don't have to put a meaning to. It doesn't have to mean one single thing. And yes.. money CAN buy you happiness.. maybe momentary ones.. shopping and eating.. are therapy to me.. on bad days.. they make you feel perfectly well again.. so I conclude that money can definitely buy you happiness.. even if its for 3 secs..
Life is moving.. a few of my friends may have lost something thats been keeping them smiling on those rainy days.. but well.. life's a bitch..
Life makes one full circle.. other friends.. their finding their root in the ground.. and learning how to smile all over again.. I think.. sometimes.. its all about balance.. for someone to live.. someone must die.. for a person to smile.. another will cry.. And.. i'm pretty sure that IS how it all works.. take a look at your life.. or perhaps a significant other.. have you lost someone to another..? Don't you see as much as you are upset.. the other .. and the another.. are smiling.. in momentary bliss..
Life.. is funny.. when you make all the connections.. and find all the answers.. I find.. life really isn't all that bad.. it's just .. a whole string of neverending stories.. The answers , make you accept.. acceptance.. makes you smile... and if you allow yourself.. you'll finally laugh ..
Life.. one leads to another.. it always does.. the butterfly effect... the waves you make in lives of all around you..
Life.. is.. Beautiful.
Say it.. feel it.. remember it..
Look into the mirror.. and tell yourself.. this is the beginning.. of your happiness.. just keep smiling.

2008-04-10T16:17:00.001+08:00

The Black Widow Theories says:
i just think
The Black Widow Theories says:
love is quite beautiful
The Black Widow Theories says:
ahaha
It's my way or the high way... says:
ah..why la?
It's my way or the high way... says:
well..it has it's good and bad la
It's my way or the high way... says:
so why suddenly tok abt tt..u in LOVE?
The Black Widow Theories says:
lol
The Black Widow Theories says:
nah
The Black Widow Theories says:
there isnt really a bad..
The Black Widow Theories says:
wats bad is the way we handle it lol
The Black Widow Theories says:
yea.. im in love. haha with the world
It's my way or the high way... says:
mmm..dun love the world too much..it has alot of tendecy to stab u in the back..lol
It's my way or the high way... says:
well..it depends lah..
It's my way or the high way... says:
i'd differ..i think..i was happier being single
The Black Widow Theories says:
haha
The Black Widow Theories says:
yea
The Black Widow Theories says:
welcome to my world lol
The Black Widow Theories says:
bt maybe..
The Black Widow Theories says:
he;s just nt the right one
The Black Widow Theories says:
or maybe
The Black Widow Theories says:
pple have forgotten
The Black Widow Theories says:
how best to try in a relationship
The Black Widow Theories says:
everybody.. i mean everybody are letting things go.. too easy
The Black Widow Theories says:
has love become that underrated?
The Black Widow Theories says:
wer u can get sumone today. crush over him in the name of love for a couple of months
The Black Widow Theories says:
and get instantly attracted to another.. also in the name of love.. the same love..
It's my way or the high way... says:
whoa..ttz deep
It's my way or the high way... says:
well..i agree with u
It's my way or the high way... says:
pple dun love this days wit their whole hearts
It's my way or the high way... says:
they are so afraid of being brusied
It's my way or the high way... says:
and that act actualli diallows smeone else frm loving them wholly
It's my way or the high way... says:
it's like a chain reaction..
The Black Widow Theories says:
but ..
The Black Widow Theories says:
isnt it such a waste
The Black Widow Theories says:
to reduce such an emotion to something.. thats as good as just smiling today.. and frowning the next?
It's my way or the high way... says:
well..pple dun wana invest in smething they dun reap anything out of
The Black Widow Theories says:
haha
It's my way or the high way... says:
onli u and i prolly think
The Black Widow Theories says:
and they say.. nothing ventured is nth gained
It's my way or the high way... says:
abt loving wit our whole hearts
The Black Widow Theories says:
i swear.. the song.. 'where is the love' is perfect at this time
The Black Widow Theories says:
they all want it
The Black Widow Theories says:
everybody i spoken to
The Black Widow Theories says:
they all do.. bt yet.. they just seem to touch on the surface when they do have sumone
The Black Widow Theories says:
just scratching the very surface.. and the moment sumthing goes wrong. they drill on the very same cracks.. and break it all up together
The Black Widow Theories says:
so .. what DO they want?
It's my way or the high way... says:
umm..honestly..they dun kne wad they want
The Black Widow Theories says:
fast food culture is really taking its toll hah
It's my way or the high way... says:
yea..everything..has becme so fast paced
It's my way or the high way... says:
even the smeone..telling.."i miss u"..it's said so fast
The Black Widow Theories says:
hahaha
It's my way or the high way... says:
and sme dun even say..ugh
The Black Widow Theories says:
seems to me that ,, its being taken for granted
It's my way or the high way... says:
yea..so wheres its not appreciated
It's my way or the high way... says:
dun give it
It's my way or the high way... says:
so won't be tken for granted
The Black Widow Theories says:
haha
The Black Widow Theories says:
at the end of the day
The Black Widow Theories says:
personal fears and gains have taken priority over the true meaning of love itself.

aww damn...

2008-04-07T14:15:00.005+08:00

so. Sitting here, looking at the world, things are happening. And so I was all showered and draggin my feet around the house.. ( I'm no social creature, but I just love being out alot.. ) and my sister was heading out. So she said.. '' where you going today?" Mostly cuz I spend about as much time at home as I ever spend in some shopping mall.. or probably less? So I say.. "where am i supposed to go.. i got no social life".. and she says.. "YOU don't have a social life??" So. That's the impression I give haha, but then again. I barely go out in the day time.. always in the night.. maybe its the lack of sun, or a different side of singapore or just because, night time's the only time I get to go out .. ( work constraints ) Back to the story.
Things are happening for alotta people around me. So maybe its just their turn to tell stories, and make stories for that matter. But damn.. it get's boring. and everytime I'm on leave for that matter.. sheesh.. If I want some excitement. there's waaayy too much to the point where I need to sober up over coffee.. and If there's none.. well its as good as zilch. Major boredom. *phonecall*
Just got off the phone with a friend. he's gonna go off to ns soon. See.. more news lol. or maybe .. I'm just bored of my current life lol. Despite all that Is going on and Has been going on.. Nothing much really goes on. Maybe it's work. Maybe.. it's life. Maybe it's me. I need to get out there and shout out again.. "The hillllsss are aliiive with the sooound of muuuuuussiic.... !" or at least.. something along those lines..
when death wants to become alive..

and it's take off!

2008-03-28T13:22:00.005+08:00

The 28th is finally here.. and after much setbacks to the point where it just may not happen, It's finally here. And as of now, the attendance is finalised, the preparations are underway and now all we need is a drama free time. I'll be meeting kavee in approx 3 hours and well, that I honestly feel is the beginning. This morning didn't turn out that well.. but at least I know i'm going to need lotsa practice. And it only affirms much more my career decision... Looking through all them sites, I confirmed another thing, major stress time , ha. I have soo got to unwind , relax and just.. simmer in silence for a while.. But somehow when you ask for it, the opposite quite often happens, which is always the case ha. Over time you learn not to complain so much, and just accept. I swear, acceptance is one of the toughest things to do by far, yet also one of the most gratifying moments. Life's bittersweet. Good thing I love the taste of bitter. And the temptation of trouble.

Hey, how YOU doing?

2008-03-26T10:18:00.003+08:00

Hey, how am I doing today? Well, apart from a mild confusion which I had just gotten clarified.. I was all set to take the world by it's neck and shake it up a little. But then.. hmmm.. let's just say the lives that intertwine with mine, can all be put together to run a emmy winning mid day soap opera. I'll call it : Days of their lives and my life.. how original right.. well as if it wasn't quite enough that it's all pointing me towards major ' Coffee with Kavi ' moment ( It means I need to destress over some Cappucino/Latte/Mocha Blend/Espresso and some fine conversation ), to add on to it I got recalled. Yea.. the dreaded word.. Sure they say the job's all wham bam excitement and its not some mundane 9 to 5 clockwork whilst staring at peeling wallpaper.. But sometimes you make plans, or many plans, and how easily it comes to naught can be quite unnerving. That just happened last night and so I had a 2 hour grace period.. before 12 hours of singlehood . At the end of the duty, I figured there was really nothing to claim about during all the time spent walking and watching. Except maybe gaining exposure amongst some of the big-Shots. A good name perhaps. And Boooy am I able to stay happy despite it all.. I mean sure, I growl alot but I do it with a smile too .. ( Major Darlie shine moment ).. No? So maybe not all the time, but hey, I'm trying. So, while my eyes are seriously ready for the curtain call, my thoughts wander to coffee or movie or just some quiet time spent home.. Hah .. who am I kidding.. I could never stay put at home so that leaves me with.. when, where.. and of course, with whom?

Page one. All over again.

2008-03-24T00:19:00.006+08:00

Taking the first step in any situation can be quite daunting. seen it. experienced it. felt it. What happens when its the same one. Just with a different beginning? And so, here we go again. I realise I never liked blogging that much. A journal is much more private, just like myself. Sure it brought about more misunderstandings and failed relations but at the end of the day I answer to nobody but myself don't I ? Merely a platform to let the world know just a little bit more.. a little bit. I assure you this beginning will come with an end.. soon enough. I never was one to go with it all the way. I lack commitment. I don't do long term. Change is something I love, and I need. So much more happens in life then I give credit for. So much more happens then I say. That's the way I'll keep it. I was thinking about this today.. Your greatest strength is your biggest weakness. This applies only to those who do know their purpose in life though. I've been asking people, many in fact,what their purpose in life was. And given their fear. You say the exact opposite and quite truely, that is the thing they fear the most. How true this applies across the board I wouldn't know. But it does to my friends, It does to me. So what do You fear the most?

third times a charm

2007-07-10T20:05:00.000+08:00

well anyways, work wise got a little stressed up, but mostly because i was sick. ANd Boooy was i sick. cuz Who knows what happened, i have supposedly recovered for the most part except i cant taste my food.. this is torturous i tell you for someone who loves his food, and the cravings i get, from cheese to chocolates to fried junk food to bittergourd... and the occasional tom yumish sour spicy mix.. all that has been put on hold... dang.. now i start to eat something. and then soon i end up getting bored .. the taste just wears out.. and i thought the good part of losing a sense is the strengthening of others.. but helloo.. im still the same blurry eyed deaf eared n now , thanks to the way the world works. a tad stone hearted.. and i still love touching fire. I have lost all my senses.. or have i.. maybe thats why i feel super intelligent lately.. its all gone up there haha.. okay so maybe thats pushing it a little too much..or maybe not.

and well im looking forward to two things now :

1) my leave from the 16th to the 20th ( i need to get away from it all... boy has it been tiring.. )
You see, i don't know if its just me, but somehow those who patrol with me. neevr get to go back early, or maybe its just cuz .. oh hell its me. hah
2) My 21st i guess, the thing is i dont wanna celebrate or nothing. but i still gotta have plans right.. well i got the time on my hands. now just for the ideas..

midway Processions

2007-06-22T18:43:00.000+08:00

so now, still sorta midway into things, still wanna make some minor adjustments, provided my com doesnt keep hanging on me right now. Days have been good, swinging between great and somewhat milder.. not being out is sheer boredom for me, no matter how tiring the day is, just heading out for a bit , coffee or some short walk , beats the silence of doing nothing hah. So there, its been too long since i've been away from this junkpoint. Welcome back )

miracles Happen!

2007-06-16T20:45:00.000+08:00

finalllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy i can get into my blog,. hahaa awesome wonderful ... now i dun wanan talk too much, This place has gotta go through some serious upGrade., See you on the flip side

Blinded by the lights

2007-02-10T21:17:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, life just seems to take unfriendly turns.. well doesn't it always?

when they say time heals, i wanna ask how much more time must it take.. we all wanna forget and move on and be bright and happy .. all the wonderful things.. yea.. Does that mean we're gonna only get that? definitely, unfortunately , no hah.. we're only human, its tough to take it into stride. bt as i always say.. we can try..

Then there are those who never let you completely go all the way.. why? don't ask me, im seeing a ton of these things around, scary as much as tiresome .. there ARE such characters out there.. oh and very much alive, like the never dying sequels of bad movies.. How do you fly high when the butchers are waiting on the tree tops lol..
and dang ... wat a bad comparison heh

if i could, i would shout to the world all that went on, if only to be freed from all the past.. but then.. it would make me feel bare, open . and well.. i aint all that ready to be that way.. some say it makes u more approachable lol somethings are best kept private i'd say.. all the way.. ) But this in itself has made me fly that much higher.. and tmrw i may fall again.. but u knw wat . i dont care, i'll just look up and rattle away to the skies. let them flow away through the winds eh..

-.-

2006-11-26T12:45:00.000+08:00

Sometimes u just wanna go uuuuhhhh..... its just all sick.. im sick ur sick hah! everybodys sick..

-Understood-

2006-11-05T16:48:00.000+08:00

they tell you to aim for the skies and you may land among the stars..
what if the stars itself are beyond reach.. will it be a case of false hopes?

You grew up with the very words "They lived happily ever after"..
yet you end up settling for second best, and even "happily ever after" takes a back seat.

Never let others dictate your actions.. words to live by..
and u still say yes to so many people , while "No" pounds endlessly within.

Life seems twisted? The people, much more so.

Know yourself, know your limits. Know your limits, know your weakness. Know your weakness, work on it.

breath

2006-10-23T23:22:00.000+08:00

Your every essence in life..

Being yourself

2006-10-20T21:36:00.000+08:00

IS a stroke of genius. Tell me, how many are actually capable of that.. and how many aren't? hahaa. Drumroll please... the change is about to take place~

It's kinda crazy in a quiet way

2006-10-18T21:35:00.000+08:00

Holy mama! It's so much drama! And boooy am i ever loving it... but also hoping for more.. dang im never satisfied.. heh.. what can i say.. the surface never quite shows whats running inside does it.. likewise likewise.. looking all serious and bored on the outside but dancing away on the inside lol .. fidgety lil thing eh.. Anyways, here's to something more, tomorrow, Cheers *

for tomorrow

2006-10-07T14:21:00.000+08:00

It's a lifetime of emotions
trapped into a day

the feelings of desire
in the most awkward way

the songs of life , speak as they should
memories abound.. as they would..
melancholy..smiles do they exist
it's the twist of life.. life with a twist..

now how shall i continue?
why not just wait and see..

There's music in the night

2006-09-29T21:41:00.000+08:00

aNd itS really reaLly right,
itS the only thing i neeed
it intoxicates your miNd,
All y0ur Troubles left beHind
sO cOme On And tAke my leAd..
Its noT just me who fEEls it
MusiC PlayS a MinD TricK

>>>

Now tell me why
i shouldn't love jamie cullum.
The guys a genius..
but then again...
so am i ..
Does that mean..
i love myself?

Smile, in the late hours of the night

and sweet dreams shall follow..

Through test and time..

2006-09-24T23:52:00.000+08:00

I lived.. found love..
I loved.. and lived again
in both i found myself
and in me, i saw you..

our eyes speak much more
then words ever could
a bond of many years
whilst mere seconds just pass

it happened once before
once again it unfolds
the story , the key..
the doors to much more

silence... shhh
ther're secrets' beyond..
let fate play itself..
Just dont say a word....

First breath..

2006-09-22T11:35:00.000+08:00

Im feeling alive again.. hahaa... the question is , will i be allowed to live.. But then again, its all over the place . And so i was told to believe, and go ahead with a decision that seemed wise.. sure there's the fear , naturally hah but it ain't gonna stop me isit. Wish me luck ~

That's all

2006-09-19T12:36:00.000+08:00

God knows how many times meryl streep said those words in the movie. Now the devil wears prada was and still is one movie that everybody's recommending tons.. and im just soo glad i finally got to watch it. yay! a glimpse through the catty fashion indutry, meeeyow... anne hathaway was gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous in her jimmy choos and chanel and milano blahnik and who knows what else. BUt mostly loved the 'stuff' they taught through the show.. a show that makes you think.. i like that.. when you make me think, naturally you've made an impact ..and that sure happened .. in more ways then one hahaa.. so am i talking about the movie now? hahaa lurking deep within the recesses of your mind.. is the answer to that question and many more..

oohh the secrets that lay in wait..
the questions that serve as bait..
love me now.. hate me later..

a mail with a purpose

2006-09-15T19:34:00.000+08:00

I don't always read the mails sent to me, entertaining junk, inspirational or educative at most. But over time they fail to capture anyone's attention. But this did. So yea.. if you took the time to read this, take the next few seconds to do simply wat the mail says.

>> The innocent victims of Internet child abuse cannot speak for themselves. But you can. With your help, we can eradicate this evil trade. We do not need your money. We need you to light a candle of support <http://www.lightamillioncandles.com/>. We're aiming to light at least One Million Candles by December 31, 2006. This petition will be used to encourage governments, politicians, financial institutions, payment organisations, Internet service providers, technology companies and law enforcement agencies to eradicate the commercial viability of online child abuse.They have the power to work together. You have the power to get them to take action. Please light your candle at lightamillioncandles.com <http://www.lightamillioncandles.com/> or send an email of support to light@lightamillioncandles.com. Together, we can destroy the commercial viability of Internet child abuse sites that are destroying the lives of innocent children. Kindly forward this email to your friends, relatives and work colleagues so that they can light a candle too.
>>

~The change a few seconds could bring ~

what a life,

2006-09-09T15:35:00.000+08:00

One thing's settled and another thing starts. Not for me though. But i still have to watch it all happen... Apparently the whole neutral ground thing works like a charm.,. but only when ON that point in time.. then its back to the same ol' same ol'

Let's dance ...or maybe not

2006-09-02T12:50:00.000+08:00

The weeks been progressing , in more ways then one. Seems like alots been happening. In more ways then one. I'm loving the lectures, the instructor's the funniest one i've ever seen. I'm loving the training, endurance is one thing im good at heh. I'm loving the food on one out of five days. Cuz usually it's tasteless, except for one day of the week where suddenly there's an outburst of normalcy in the flavours. There's even a certain 'friend' hanging around our barracks lol... SO.. moving on.. its freaking tiring.. and i wanna sleep heh.. so let me have my rest.. and i'll get back to you.. zzz...

The past is now.

2006-08-27T12:47:00.000+08:00

Been a whole two weeks since being at the HTA. Its a routine lifestyle yet with its own sense of unpredictability.. Having been made the first squad leader was and still is taxing at its worst. Its like the instructors said, the one with the most responsibility.. and i know that's hardly my forte.. Anyway, besides the stress, at least there are some pretty fun people around. Getting used to the lifestyle , basically full of eating [ food that could bring a dead horse back alive again ], sleeping, lots of pt and tons of lectures. Boring at times but yea.. hopefully that'll change. People i didn't expect to meet, especially having 6 of us from nyp, 3 of us from the same lecture groups.. heh talk about interesting fates. Now im bored again. Let's see what else i can do for now.

the day after tomorrow

2006-08-13T12:29:00.000+08:00

i'll be heading down to the other side of singapore. I'll be heading down.. and won;'t be back for a couple of weeks lol. I'll miss me. And i'll miss you. All of you.

Kiss the boy!

2006-08-09T20:50:00.000+08:00

Quick! The confusion only created so much drama. Four days, but a hectic one as well. Who knew that things had to go to such an extent to make me learn just that much more about myself . Sure, it was close to death even heh, like who cares right. But yea, suddenly it all makes sense, of course theres still way more to go, but im starting out somewhere.. and its helping.. Wisdom and knowledge, do i love it .. yes i still do.. Whow. Literally. Life's good.

It's a messy situation..

2006-08-08T11:52:00.000+08:00

It's a kavi situation... I asked out loud for an exciting and memorable last two weeks before heading off. "Be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it" goes the phrase. Maybe i wasn't clear in my asking. Or perhaps it was just meant to be this way. Cuz this is a whole different form compared to the kind of memorable time i asked for. Its just so like something you'd find off the tv, the story starts out fairly slow, introducing all the characters involved. Then it shows how they link up together. A storyline that flows way too nicely for its own good. But a very messy one as well. Plot twists, action, suspense, deception, anti-climaxes. And im not Just saying that . I thought my life got boring at times. Suddenly it got pretty exciting. A bit way tooo exciting. And for all the wrong reasons. The only things that would be missing now is an abrupt death and a search as to whose the murderer. Think desperate housewives. Think a huge big mess. or just ... think.

Way out

2006-08-06T19:43:00.000+08:00

Remember a movie about a series of unfortunate events.. Well.. a series of events have been taking place.. And boy does it reflect the very line i throw out to others so very often.. "Everything happens for a reason." What's right seems wrong, and what felt wrong, suddenly seems so right. Not only perspective has shifted, It's more then that. It's life changing. And i bet you don't know how much , heh.

A time to look out for

2006-07-30T23:24:00.000+08:00

AUGUST 15TH ! the date's finally out. In two weeks time, im going to be Booking In.. nervous, but elated
Worried but excited
Prepared....
mentally but not physically heh

Life's going to change. Will i succumb to the insecurities of the adult world.. or will i stand out as an individual of my own perpectives and ideals. I once told a friend ( and i still do ), i dislike the way the adults of today handle their world. Their own worlds. And no way would i want to be a fish amongst the sea. But things are changing, and i do wonder, will i be forced to buckle under the rising tide.. people around me are already doing so.. and the last thing i want is to be them. To become them.

And so .. i'm going to head forth, clear with mind, strong in heart.. with pride i'll stand,. apart from the rest, but with them.

Note to self: Be true to yourself , always.

a little something something..

2006-07-25T12:41:00.000+08:00

I don't have to say a nice word to Be nice
Don't have to contradict myself, to have two sides..
I don't have to rhyme, to be poetic..
Neither will i speak riddles.. it's barely a necessity to show wisdom..
I hardly need to be loved to show that i can love..
Need not a praise to accept my one self..
Why sing sweet nothings, if it means not a thing.

A drop of water .. spherical where there's a lack of gravity..
The whole world.. likewise, when you stop and think.
What does this mean? Ponder.. the world quite truly IS a flat place..
Newtons' law keeps us grounded.. Or does it?
without it we could fly, then the sky..
never a limit, only new space to explore.

And now i say..
Help yourself by helping others,
but to love others, first love yourself..
Quite the contrary , won't you say..
Quite truly me..

Invent, never just quote..
Create, never just think..
Listen, never Just speak.

Within..

2006-07-10T14:19:00.000+08:00

To pity others, is a natural emotion, to pity thyself, a wasted emotion.

One always looks everywhere for answers.. and only lastly in himself. Is it any wonder then, that it is said the heart is where God resides?

Pity no one, who pities enough for himself.

Why call on others to know and understand you, when you, my friend.. can take that time into serving and truly understanding the people around you. Through that I promise. thou shall be understood by others.. and more importantly, by yourself.

Happiness is God given.. and no one, not even the one with THE most wicked heart, is undeserving of that.

Paradise is where you deem it to be.. It is not in a place of mystery. It is.. You.

The body is the temple of the soul. But what use is the temple, if not just a corpse.. without the soul.

When a mind goes places, it breaks new ground. The findings of the silent one..

Life's a roll

2006-07-09T14:34:00.000+08:00

Up and down up and down up and down.. Life's rolling rolling rolling.. just dont get caught under the wheels ~ am i a super genius.. or am i a super genius.. Now dont answer that question -

There will be ..

2006-06-30T20:45:00.000+08:00

Miracles.. when you believe. When the world comes weighing down on you, and your a sweet 52 kg, it doesn't seem so easy. The burdens of the society, the burdens of your world, need not be shouldered by just you. Set them free and see what follows.. He said come unto me.. all who are weary.. and i will give you rest.
Regret and hurt are wasted emotions. They aren;t of any use when all you do is to feel them. Reflect, Introspect.. Why are these emotions there in the first place.. Do something about it.. And if its out of your hands.. learn.. Only by learning from past events does one grow.. and only then, will you feel it easier to move on. Moving on is tough.. But its not impossible. Trash to you.. words to live by for me. As always.. Kavi.. he has spoken ~

Fanaa

2006-06-23T20:44:00.000+08:00

Tere dil me merii saanson ko panaah mil jaa'e
tere ishq me merii jaan fanaa ho jaa'e

rone de aaj hamko tuu aankhe sujaane de
baaho me le le aur khud ko bhiig jaane de
hai jo siine me qaid dariya voh chuut jaaa'ega
hai itna dard ke tera daaman bhiig jaa'ega

adhuuri saans thii
dharkan adhuuri thii
adhuure ham
magar ab chaand puura hai falak pe
aur ab puure hai ham

tuu jo paas ho phir kya yeh jahaan
tere pyaar mein ho jaa'uu fanaa ~

sometimes..

2006-06-21T21:37:00.000+08:00

Sometimes.. silence seems the best form of communication.. So silent it shall be.. To read the person from his actions .. then his words.. from the subtle movements.. to the loud ones.. heh.. Just hangin on.. Cuz thats all i can do.. All im allowed to do.. Just . Hanging. On...

Mission ..Possible..

2006-06-19T16:00:00.000+08:00

Time to change what happened .. time to fix what got messed up.. Time.. NOT to say goodbye.. heck, what was running through the mental overdrive when the tone and words came out as such.. to be me is to think before i speak.. apparently that didn't happen.. So what am i waiting for. .move move move..

so where's the end?

2006-06-18T18:07:00.000+08:00

mHmm.. just that. where is it? time goes by.. so slowly.. time goes by.. so slowly.. A bit too slow for that matter. And just when it was looking set to get that final push.. or the final song.. What IS the necessity to have to put up with time to such extent.. If there's a reason behind this .. and i always say there is.. It had better be good. Very good.

floating ~

2006-06-14T16:12:00.000+08:00

Been a while as they all say.. sometimes a slight departure never hurt anybody.. Because absence makes the heart grow fonder.. All too many times we dont appreciate the people around us right up till we lose them.. What a shame that we never got to spend time together they'll say.. Did they then ever truly consider being around each other then? But then i ask.. why question now.. when it's already too late. Elvis has left the building. .. and so has the one you took for granted.. Lives never are forever.. and those that intertwine.. for a fleeting moment only.. the come.. teach and go.. at times teaching only after they've gone.. One word.. appreciate... The toughest thing to do eh.. "they'll knw that i care".. what are they.. psychic? Actions were always said to be louder then words.. and indeed what are words.. if not a mere utterance.. one may not remember the way you speak. but he will remember the things you do.. so stop mouthing.. and start doing.. As alwys... kavi's spoken.. heh~

hmm

2006-06-08T13:20:00.000+08:00

. . . . .

ba da Bing!

2006-06-07T12:55:00.000+08:00

tagging sux in here.. but i still love the layout heh! kaviiiiii! i love myself.. and do go watch fanaa.. one heck of a movie... i just wanna screeeeaaaaaaaaaammmm... hahaaa.. cuz i've cleared up a bit i suppose.. yay!

the truth in words ::

2006-05-08T11:58:00.000+08:00

Here's something from a friends blog. True, if you see beyond just the words. Hope it helps.

Love means to learn to look at yourself
The way one looks at distant things
For you are only one thing among many.
And whoever sees that way heals his heart,
Without knowing it, from various ills -

tested : 2

2006-04-29T21:05:00.000+08:00

soooooo yea.. more news from all around.. i;ve pretty much turned into somethign of a human confession box for quite a number so yea.. the good thing is.. they've gt the answers right there in them all the while. wonderful. kudos for that wonderful spirit.. i actually am kinda learning from them. life and its learning process .. sheEsh.. almost boring.. never mind.. im still having fun along the way.. for now.. but yep. the stories dont stop there does it .. more does come and yea.. almost to a point where i .... hahaaa as alwys i shall not finish that sentence. okay so anyway.. im gonna go start finding jobs aredi.. apparently the reply from the force will come in approx one more month only. .till then maybe carry out some short part time job ba.. sheEsh if i only knew i would have started earlier.. bleah aNywaYy.... hmm... anYway... aNYWay...

tested

2006-04-28T13:35:00.000+08:00

hmm. okay bleah.. been feeling so pukish the last week. yet its also been a great week. weeee hahaaa.. but todays baaaaad bleah. yep too many things running through my head.. ugh.. one can never be too carefree they say.. so yea. your running along all smiley and all then theres alwys something to stumble upon. sheesh bleah.. but never mind that.. i can depend on myself to get uplifted in no time at all. *i think* Aaanyways.. yep. gonna bask in the quiet for awhile then. sooo till im up and bouncing again............ weee

Pourqoui ?

2006-04-20T19:22:00.000+08:00

ah ouiiiiiii hahaha.. lovin it.. lovin it .. lovin it . lovin it.. finally go gv back the books aredi.. once again, got lost before i found the place.. happens so much. but the best part is. the human compass in me finally worked rite for once! yay!! hahaha bumming at home still while waiting for the results . hopefully by the end of this month , still nth then its off to job hunt. Anyways.. even bumming isnt so bad after all. got company yay! hahaha. out with sha n malar . awesome day hehe my jaw still hurts!!! hahahahatheres good news and bad news but then the good news became bad news and the bad news become badder news.. haiyooo.. sooo taxing, but in the end, everybody still managed to get a good nights sleep .. yay! *tiggers bouncing bouncing bouncing!* so in the end i still leave out the meat of the story as well as most of the backbone lol ..usual flaky skimming through all the events .. why bother reading you ask yourself .. lol can you not? muahahaha! the evil boy is back!

mHmmHmm

2006-04-18T21:14:00.000+08:00

the devil is awakening.. true but manipulative.. smiling but sneering.. you can trust me.. but can you really? hahaaa... this is someone from the past..still waters run deep rite.. this one does.. very deep.. haaaa.. riiite.. on the newsfront.. marc's back in good shape, finally. good to know.. erm. and.. the rest of em back in school.. also good.. sad thing is im still slackin here like a bloody ass.. aaaaaaaAAAAAAAA.. good God... a pity i have to have to have to wait for this month to be over before i get down n dirty at least.. soooo i have to wait. even if it makes me feel like a bumm.. mhmm mhmm mhmmmm.. gonna kp the limitations looooooow really really low.. not for everything.just certain things.. hahaa.. a few more days.. a few more days.. im gonna come back out again.. *i hope* soon k.. soon lol

stringing the violins..

2006-04-16T18:25:00.000+08:00

let the music of life unfold.. it almost feels like im two people sometimes lol.. better make that three.. hmm i haven't mentioned this before i hope... now.. when three diff types of music intercedes with each other.. its got only two ways it could go.. 1, its just awesome !.. 2, it sucks terribly.. somebody shut the windows pleAzE! so now.. which way will i go.. as i;ve said.. two ways.. im nt gonna let nature take its course.. this is one steed i wanna ride my ass off on.

8 days every week..

2006-04-14T20:39:00.000+08:00

Arite.... its 8.38 pm on Good friday.. sweet though. it Has been a good friday.. its been a good week actually.. finally switch to lenses.. those who dont see me often have mentioned a big diff, while those usually around me probably wouldnt notice as much ba.. hahaa. but the nicest compliment came from this 5 yr old kid in the bus.. haa those who knw would knw wat im talking about hehee.. anyway.. yeap.. waiting has become less and less harder.. i think i actually knw wat im about.. im alwys talking about the self discovery thing.. i think its happening nicely hahaa.. but the undying urge to wanna accomplish things.. still there.. its been a great week people.. i hope you guys had fun hahaa.. tonights one of those crazier upbeat-ish times.. and im glad for it.. better then sitting and pondering so much.. this lil head will go BOOM! so yea lol.. that aside..kavi wants to keep those dreams alive. every single one .. some may sound impractical.. but its my choice and my life .. so dont tell me what works for me and what doesnt lol.. advice is accepted , but judgement isnt.. isnt that the case with most people.. but to find those who arent so judgemental.. not easy.. opinions can be measured.. but anything more is just sucky .. anyways.. getting sidetracked here.. yep.. songs blastin, minds clearing, energy's rising.. and im signing.... off hehe..

April 06

2006-04-06T15:58:00.000+08:00

i wanna speak less when it its necessary. more when it matters.. mean something at that exact moment. and be completely meaningless when i dont have to..

The Present

^ i wanna change.. cuz thats what we can only change right. the past affects the future. all we can do is learn from before. cuz thats unchangeable.. but the future. lies flaming in my fingertips.. lets Go.

StrayWire

2006-03-31T22:28:00.000+08:00

the worlds revolving like crazy.. things happening, people talking, crimes busting, rain falling, friends moving, and others dying.. lives flying, names changing. words flowing and the sun rising.. thoughts running, and some laughing while others crying... some dancing and some.. just not. seeing feeling touch and taste.. the senses of the universe running amok.. whats just happened i really dont know.. but one thing i do.. and thats.. till tomorrow.. haHAaa..

ven da mind iz goving vild.

2006-03-30T12:35:00.000+08:00

hahAaa.. things looking better now, everythings going pretty much on track.. except now must knw if i got in.. if yes. then there i have it. my life's going to be open to how i've planned it.. but then again.. nth ever really goes as planned does it.. haHaaa, I've got to make the final cut. its time to throw the options on to a different road.. too close too fast isn't a good thing . lol not by my rules.. It's time to play the game.. my way.. ~

sHhh...

2006-03-26T12:49:00.000+08:00

gOod luck!

point taken

2006-03-24T16:22:00.000+08:00

The story unfolds .. for starters, i finished the book. yay! hahaaa.. made the right guesses alright.. theres just something accomplishing about finding out who the mind bending mass murderer really is.. that brings us back to reality. Pity theres no such person to unmask here.. nt that i would want it.. buuutt.. hey. a little spice adds to an interesting life.. right? hMm there are things happening.. but nth that includes crazy car chasing sequences or running up to the top of a 100 storey building till your head just wants to explode.. heck.. even the stall holders here dont have some crazy hidden agenda up their sleeves.. come to think of it.. they dont even have sleeves.. on to other things.. the world IS a small place after all.. just imagine. its come a full circle to this point and i can say im impressed.. it hasnt been that long a time has it.. for so much to have happened.. lol then again.. i just gotta rem certain other things and it makes more sense.. flip the right switch.. and everything .. makes.. sense ~

its a weird weird world

2006-03-23T23:41:00.000+08:00

here goes.. its the second time i gotta type. .sheesh.. its a normal day.. finished up most of the book aredi.. not bad. actually grips you harder each page you turn.. i can see why its on the new yorks bestsellers list.. awesome read.. buT of course.. thats pretty much life as i knw it when im nt out these days.. tried my hand at a bit of cooking.. but turned out .. ermmm.. lets just say.. nt the best thing i;ve done.. haa.. aannnnd.. Gosh its boring.. its almost like.. FYP.. but with less walking around. but thankfully its not the same case ever day. or i'll just diee.. but im also going to die soon.. going to goo broke soon.. maybe one month soon? haaa if i keep spending like this of course.. and chances that enlisment isnt going to be in june could high actually according to a few unnamed sources..if thats the case.. sheEsh im definitely wanting a job. aand.. hmmm lol and a lot of other things. also unnamed..

when train tracks clash..

2006-03-16T20:41:00.000+08:00

noT a pretty sight isit.. bad timing, wrong loop, just plain silly driving.. of course, nobodys' talkin about a real train or a real crash.. if you get the picture.. sometimes you just decide to leave everything be.. let time answer for its actions.. take its own course and all that.. then it gets all strange.. it decides to let you relive the past .. makes you wonder why do you even have to go through it all over and over again, cuz it seems rather.. pointless.. reminds me of that shatoopid movie from you knw who.. they'll be prancing around in blue and one of em dances like a woman.. [ but he's not apparently.. ] such things happen when i decide to let go of something .. i mean seriously.. though i rem one incident where it wasnt thoughts.. i didnt HAVE to think that time cuz of the person in question... nvm that.. it's all over with.. This time its just all over the place. from the slightest things.. to the most obvious bigggg ones... maybe i just think too much.. but a recent dialogue.. to be quoted.. simply says.. worrying is what you do. if you don't worry, then its not you. In my case. its i think too much. if i dont think.. its not me. course the only time i dont think at all is when im laughing. I give myself that much . To laugh freely. the musings of a tigger.. till his stripes don't show..

welcome home...

2006-03-11T00:00:00.000+08:00

hmm.. schools out. for good.. poly life comes to a close today.. a great day .. though pretty solemn as the end of class drew nearer by the hour.. thikning of what we'r gonna do.. how we;r gonna spend time. and when we could possibly meet again.. separations tough. though we;re still gonnna see each other.. lol but thats not the biggest worry on my mind. i knw we';ll be able to come out pretty often at first. and maybe once in a while later on.. so home is where we come back to .. anyways.. tomorrows the 11th of march.. 11/3 or 3/11 whichever way you look at it.. its the date im expecting somehow.. i'll probably find out bit more tomorrow. hopefuly enough to keep it going.. its nt easy.. yet its nt impossible.. on my situation.. staying a 100% optimist isn't the easiest thing lol. just look around .. pretty obvious.. there are no worries.. just a fear of hopes being broken. but otherwise. this tigger.. still bouncing.. tigger never loses his bounce.. sometimes its just a bit less higher then usual.. but its to save energy and bounce higher then beforel ol. bounced high high high after the last post. now just a bit of wondering today.. tomorrow. lets wait and see for tomorrow..

|| tiGger'S boUnce ||

2006-03-07T11:55:00.000+08:00

tuesday buHLuess.. over the weekend, there was a lot of bounce .. energy.. those who knew dubbed me tigger.. cuz of the whole tiger year.. and the kangaroo thing... and the energy just roaring around.. that kept me going for dAyss.. a good long three days rather lol. and now im back to crap . The energy's fizzled out for now lol... and it sucks bad. i so wanna seee.............. haaaaiii.. that will have to wait.. im not one of those people who wait very well.. but now its just all about that. Tough to even smile genuinely with Good news.. cuz it all seems so much further. hmMMM...nvm.. they say.. in time to come.. how long i ask.. how Long? suckAz..doesnt helP with the constant floatish feeling in the head. not even headaches just sudden jolts that t make you go whooaaaa.... the world just spun around.. buT when im back on track. i'll be bouncing high again. one reading i wanna see happen.. which could only happen with balance.. Thats better now then before . just balancing's tough you knw. you tell yourself okay you can handle this. then it all works out well. happy. then something else gets you down. sad . lol the hi's and lo's of the tigger's bounce ~

Light : Lite : Bright in everyway . . .

2006-02-27T11:35:00.000+08:00

Aaaaaaand its Monday ~ Its been great so far.. why you ask.. hahaaa. after having to rush through for the presentation preparation, while having to go to Rajaratnams funeral [ darn the school....] and having to work... [ darn not being able to find a replacement... ] and juggling all other thoughts. It turned out simple according to my standards . But of course, the asessor wasnt too particular.. [ actually was trying his best to keep his eyes open through every single presentation starting from the very first.. ] can you blame him ? hahaaa in any case, it went pretty smoothly.. thankfully the feircer one wasn't present. I wonder what would have happened if he was around.. perhaps a truck load of bullshitting? anyway... glad thats over. yaY! big heaving sighs of ....relief.. the weekend was frustrating yes.. BUT it ended up perfect. In everyway i deem possible. Absolutely .. perfect. and i have one person to thank hahahaa. So most prob meeting with malar and sha later on, and im pretty sure im nt going to be doing any work today.. why? cuz the stress from the last week had me in temperamental overdrive. almost everyday i'd bite back at my family members.. which im terribly sorry for of course.. when reality seeps in. it kills the dreams.. time to start making those dreams realities.. again.. time to sing out loud.. the lost song.. needs to be heard, but first : by himself. ~

Disconnection in 5... 4.. 3..

2006-02-24T11:05:00.000+08:00

Two and a big bloody 1!! Nooo... i left my hp at home.. of all the wonderful marvellous things to do.. I was just thinking last night, should i be leaving my phone to charge overnight... what if i forgt to bring it with me.. And whaddya knw. i didt leave it to charge but did so before leaving.. And i left it there.
You knw. normally i would be checking the time, or reading a message first thing before i even step out of the bloody vicinity... but now.. i didnt realise anything until malar was online .. **i was already in school** and she was telling me to tell shah that she'll be late. Then everything seemed to be going great till that.. GAwd. for once im going to have live through without being able to call or msg or getting called or msged.. the last time i lived that way.. i was ancient.. hmm... kinda got lost abit after that.. ended up ordering pink dolphin in packet! ( i know i know.. theres no such thing as pink dolphin in packet...) my appetite was bad.. big heaving sighs of being lost from my hp.. ohh.. btw. Lost is coming back. yay. i knw its all over the net and stuff.. like i have the time to watch it.. i dont have the time to watch anything. ok.. anyway.. im just all bleaaaahed out. though its still going good. i miss my hp. . [ yes yes i knw its at home.. ] so.. over and out~

thoughts aPlenty

2006-02-22T21:55:00.000+08:00

hmm, not quite.. just basic thought... im going to do badly for my project.. my presentation.. and... a few other things.. bleak.. and bleaker... just realised i hit a dead end in my project.. How could i have been sooo oblivious.. dang... anyway.. sup's going to take a look at it.. and i still have to prepare for the presentation to the project which i still dont knw whats its end going to be like.. mainly because it was sadly going towards the wrong end product. or taking the wrong path.. anyway.. it all just sucks . alot. IT and me.. lightyears apart.. time to change track.. not too late. i can only hope.. amongst other things.. so much to hope for. so much wishful thinking.. but still treading forth.. more decisive then before.. yet.. it could have been sooner but hey.. who cares right. better late then never.... or maybe . . . not ...

desert Roze and Garden Hose

2006-02-21T09:19:00.000+08:00

The blog continues.. Now that title has only half the meaning to it. Just feels fun to have it rhyming. Aaaanyway... On my project : Its going somewhere, the last i've made it do is to replicate a static image of the same movie, as well as to have one hiding behind the one that moves. Big help that did, cuz i still cant see one ship moving on the other screen.. And it says they are connected.. Bleah!

And as for desert rose.. well, miss malar, hahaaa she asked me to join her blog [ purely by accident ] i believe, so i did as such. now i can log into her account whaaahaaa... Of course, being the IT dumb person i am, this was shocking news to me. Nothing frontpage news worthy like a certain eh hem eh hem.. vid thats been making its rounds.. And we thought only we knew.. hahaaa.. Well whaddya know. thanks to the papers, now i think about 3 quarter of singapore already knows.. How interesting lol. Honestly. till this point i still dunno whether to laugh at whats going or to feel bad for those involved lol... I think i'll stick to laughing .

On the frontline, t'was mentioned in ms rose's blog as well, the whole happening in threes thing is preTTy interesting. As i told her, the reason of all is the same, But the story just follows a different plot. .that could somehow intertwine, cuz we'r sharing the stories and stuff.. who knows.. haaa.. And things have still been a whole up and down sorta mess with me.. One day theres more faith and strength, and on other bad ones.. its all bleak and bleah... Yep.. hopefully would be sorted out soon.. Has to.. *crossing fingers * With that, im done for now.. its the 21st of Feb, and the time now is 9.29 am. Good talking. Later'

the Effects of a cause...

2006-02-17T23:09:00.000+08:00

Now.. what happens when something starts affecting you.... And yet theres so much good around.. But the minor setbacks seem to throw you off.. yet your still on the right track... Still an irony.. still .. a twisted twisted realm..

thoughts - Day 3

2006-02-08T23:30:00.000+08:00

Hmm, wondering how long more the musing is going to keep going for.. still blank out and find it hard to listen attentively.. and to focus on whats infront of me.. was with shana and malar today after school.. turns out they are both in such thinky moods.. each one with their own reasons.. was intrsting today though.. there was a silent air.. very wise one as well.. Its been slow days.. Have to do JAE later on tomorrow.. haii... clash with job scheds and project scheds.. And so on and so forth.. its an awkward time. yet something like coming of age.. God bless. now i must go ~

the Ironies.. of my Epiphanies....

2006-02-08T14:26:00.000+08:00

I thought these things were suppsoed to shake you into realising things about yourself or others.. a passing event, a lifetime of changes... And so this week has been going of all sorts, peaceful at times, musing and realising stuff otherwise that never seemed to come to me.. short tempers in the bag as well, as little things piss the shit out of me.. even the guy who called by accident wasn't let of as easy... When i laugh, i laugh alot, when i think, i also think alot... dont want to of course, it just happens haaa.. causing many small accidents, stumbles, tripping.. wonder if i'll be able to get through this week without a cast round my neck .. haaa.. Amidst everything, there still are questions.. if sudden realisations shock you into reality, how come the answers bring just new questions into my life.. Also on the topic of what im going to be doing after school is over for good. THats one of the biggest worries rather. For the firs time in the longest time... i wished i could rewind time.. the person who says , dont lok back and regret your decisions.. but of course, this was one made before i even became the 'always look on the bright side of life' guy.. so does that count? But one thing sure is being thrown at me.. Everything happens for a reason.. it does. its tough to accept at times, but letting go helps so much... the easiest and the hardest thing to do. Letting go. The irony.

stories that shouldnt be told

2006-02-05T14:43:00.000+08:00

Everybody has them.. events, situations, or for some, their entire life... Never never never shut yourself or your feelings out from the world i've been telling.. of course, that was something i had to practice before i even started sharing that with others.. Buuuut i still shut myself from some people la.. no comments there.. back to the movie i watched yest.. Memoirs of a geisha.. it was pretty good.. tugs on heartstrings and stuff. worse of all its true.. a geisha was born to never fall in love.. how sad.. everybody needs to.. btw.. i never knew michelle yeoh is that gorgeous.. she beats Zhang ziyi hands down. despite the latter being younger and all... very interesting story.. innocent young things transformed into enchanting women of killer minds .. She paints her face to hide her face.. whow.. why hide your true feelings.. cuz keeping it bottled up is gonna hurt many people.. sigh sigh sigh.. but alas.. we each have our reasons to shut up about ourselves.. reasons.. nobody will knw about. dadadadadummmmmmmmmmm....... im such a weird ass right now.. my coms just super lagging and im nt sure about half the things im typing now.. haii.. get back soon... cuz my minds gone floozy.

crazy kat, meeeEeeYoowW

2006-02-03T13:55:00.000+08:00

craaaappp... im bored lol.. seriously without a doubt 100 percent absotively posolutely bored...... THe presentation went OoooKaay today. .. turns out it wasnt anthony [ he had something on ].. it was AbH instead.. Haaiiizzz.. if you knw what i mean.. SO yea, i was the second person.. so sway... bleah hahaha.. not sure if i did well jun said she saw 7.5. im just wondering if its over a 10 or 15, heee Apart from that, just like yest, been in the best of moods juuuustt..... up... till... after lunch... Dang. whats up with that right, so now im just kinda bummed out over nothing. bleah.. its like freaking pms eh. hahaha.. theres alot i want in life.. but theres alot im not working for either. i realised that there are tons of things i left hanging half way since i started. from my younger times... even till now.. i think its time for a serious check. Even if i cant complete previous stuff, i guess its time i finished whatever i start from now on, no kidding... that;ll be tough. I;ve beeen doing things so halfway even my life seems half way lolol.. hmm aright enough enough.. you think i can do it? cuz im not sure.. and rob thomas is on with 'i'm not crazy im just a little unwell' sounds just like me eh hahaaa... its a battle to the finish from now on. just hope i can last them through. On guard!

in a thinky mood ...

2006-02-02T22:29:00.000+08:00

to sigh or not to sigh, that was pretty much the question hahaha. . its been an emotional upsy downsy day.. haa i was in great spirits after the previous night, good news all around and a clear head, plus the inspiration to get on with my project ( an alternative route perhaps ) hahaha. and so the day begins on a good note, other then jolyn being in nt a very good spirit, but verna was in a joly jokey mood.. yea, and the project got on fine, i managed to progress better, at least got something better to show anthony compared to the one i sent to my sup, can tu shue lol.. gt improvement ba so tomorrow must present le, hope it goes well.. and on to other stuff.. a friends ended up with worse health so had to cancel accompanying me to sgh.. haaiii.. bless him, bless everybody.. cuz somehow.. wanting to help people. but not really knwing how .. kinda sucks...

Start.weekday.weekend.End.

2006-01-28T11:03:00.000+08:00

and its another weekend, the one ben's always looking forward to from mondays lolol. Its an early saturday morning, and i have bothing better to do . so yea. up here blogging my seconds away. with friday i came up with something for project, but unfortunately the whole flash 5 to flash 8 incompatibility just screws the shit out of everything. never mind that, shall work something out. in the meeeantime.. its 11:11am hahaha.. gosh im bored. and i have four days to kill.. not sure what im gonna do for sure.. and you know what.. guess my inspiration to write something just left me, so . take care y'all. cuz the black one's left this building.

play Ball!

2006-01-23T09:08:00.000+08:00

Fuyyoo, last week's the most useful of all the weeks in school. What with the openhouse crap and all.. Had to do the blog template, but the installation itself was such a problem [ mainly : not my problem ] WhahaaHaaa.. then of course, the first day of the openhouse present that thing.. guess what lol.. first the blog could only work in edmund teos com, and this one particular com in the lab, then there was no place to set up the notebook for the presentation, then, michael wee asid to shift the entire com from the lab down to blk L.. nvm.. what next? The computer was locked to a cable which wasnt even being used by that com.. i could just laugh, but it doesnt end there, the key to the lock was kept by this one person, who [very coincidentally] was on leave that day. The person who was supposed to cover for her, had the same model of that key, but for another lock. In the end, michael wee tried to install the thing in another com with very odd results. And so, our first days shift was left undone hahaaa.. i was laughing at how interesting the situation kept getting.
Day two : this went by kinda boring la.. had to present the thing with jun with the visitors and all.. there was this one exceptionally drama mama girl.. whaaa.. lol.. then there were alot of eyes.. [ i know can aredi la..] which shahana gt very irritated with throughout all three days of openhouse. But the third day was the best la. got shifted to the auditorium to give out flyers and all. Now that was fun, mainly because of these two unidentified year 1 'dudes' lol. They can make any thing sound bloody funny.. its kinda like crap humour, but it kept us going all the way lolol.. Bless those boys in black..
Meanwhile. theres still confusion and hurt among certain people . Hmm.. people people people.. start loving the lighter moments.. throw the bad ones out .. Life's too short.. but we are shorter..

black holes And white space

2006-01-13T23:31:00.000+08:00

Friday the 13th. Well, now this is interesting. Superstition unsupered. It's actually been the most peacefullest day [ don't mind the english ] in a long time. didn't go to school today. Being sick and all, what with all the repetitive school days and lunch times, things have gotten very draggGy.. like black holes.. just saw this show with a connection on black holes and time warps, yea. my life lol. Its crappy when all you do is the same ol' same ol'. What i always want in life and always preferred is variety. Do things differently. Thats why i never liked the whole four walls , starin into a computer screen thing. Worked for me once, but not anymore. not since a loooong time. And staying home was the best thing i've done in also a loooong time.. a break in the mechanic lifestyle. thats where the white space comes in. being stuck in that ugly black whole of school, now rejuvenation .. feel so goooooOod.. its a decision well made. now for more ~ Yee haa

Phased out of ideas for a good title.

2006-01-12T13:53:00.000+08:00

Whow, talk about completely bummed out. I dont think its the weather ( but maybe it is ), cuz i actually like being in the rain.. But hmm.. im in school and i haven't done anything at all other then hang on msn, and go through blogs. What a life. bleah. Im just sooo zoned , phased, blanked , spaced.. Even my typing is out of sorts. I keep typing on the letters beside the ones intended. mhM mhm mhm.. i dont want to be in school today. Feel like i should be somewhere away from school.. Even the songs are pretty down and moody.. Sheesh.. And so im here.. with james beside , doing his work .. the guy's very hardworking. and im becoming a lazy nut. Met up with them yest, muruga.. so quiet. and usually would be crapping and laughing like hell. All so weird. And all this so i can;t come up with the titles i usually come up with. haaaii.. even losing my mood to joke.. Or maybe its just because i havent taken my lunch yet. You know what they say : A Hungry man is an Angry man. lol. let me scream. let the greys out .. what i need. is some food and a good laugh to get me back on track. Lets hope it will be coming before we meet up with jie and shu lei today .. minds cafe.. Hmm.. sadly chinatown is cancelled cuz of the rain.. till the smile shows.. im off ~

And so it was

2006-01-10T21:02:00.000+08:00

A post from a friend that got me stirred up. One does have to realise as much happiness there is in the world, there are tons of sadness as well. sticks and stones cane break your bones, but words.. they kill as well. We all get so uptight and emotional over mere words, so what good does that line even do. *major sighing* For those who can, we smile and laugh over almost anything, tread on problems and our dejections promptly and with panache. And for those who cant? We can stand by them . help them through. You know, light their flame as ours was lit. iT is the personal option , whether or not to keep it alight. The winds are going to keep blowing, and the rain's going to keep falling, but its our choice if we want to let it sway but be sturdy. We are human. But nobody said we cant be angels as well. Not to others, but to ourselves as well. We owe our spirits to be happy. Laugh and laugh more. there will be the times when we get upset and furious an all. But hey, take a day or two. scream it out, bitch it out. come back to smiling from your heart. Who said your life has to be miserable just cuz of someone or something right. There are and will be the bigger issues, that just kill you. pierce through the heart and just turn and screw it up till its one big bloody mess.. and yes it takes longer then the one day or two. but believe that its for a reason, one you'll come to know about in time, maybe longer then you might expect, but dont 'learn to live with it'.. learn From it. to my dear friend, good things are all around you still, be strong, He believes in you, cuz he wont give you anything you cannot deal with. Honest * your meant to be smiling, and laughing and having fun in everything that you do. So dont lose heart aright. here's to life ahead, Cheers ~

rains Of passiOn

2006-01-09T16:57:00.000+08:00

hEllo heLLo.. its been a tough day. Haaii.. back in school, got the cd from sup and went to install. Had to keep installing and removing and re-installing. Now it still doesnt quite work. haH! crap... Anyways. its been raining the whole of yesterday and today. Not to worry. i love rain. Why is kinda why im down with the flu.. ugh. now my nose is blocked and my head is tight and my brain is dead. Well.. almost anyway. i sooooo wanted to just leave at 4.. its so dreary having to stay in school. But no... i must still have to go to city hall later for the job briefing i think? and its at 7.30. Hmm.. in the background we have WALK AWAY by FRANZ FERDINAND. its a catchy tune eh.. answers to questions, and questions to answers unanswered. Carrie lol.. she's singing with the songs she's playing..lady, if we wanted to hear you sing, we'd be listening to carrie chong fm. But not to worry ( have i used that phrase yet? ) , you dont sound too bad. i felt kinda bad during breakfast today . . ( major sighing ) then soon it all turned around and things got sunny , to me. but its stil raining outside. no matter how sunny though, the darn template isnt working. And there's this funny ad going on where dj's from 7 mediacorp stations will be silent for 70 hours? Whatever for? im not sure. its 5 now.. sheesh.. one more hour to kill.. to butcher away with a butcher's knife, to slice like a spleen, to dice and mince and batter and grind and blend .. u know what. this is starting to sound bloody. Now stop looking already, i';ll get back to you.. once im done here.. Muahahaha ( evil laughter )

I'm in love

2006-01-07T22:26:00.000+08:00

With the world! Everythings going good. For some odd reason i dont feel hungry. Skipped lunch and would have skipped dinner as well. But ate for the sake of eating. Even now i don't feel like i ate something, nor do i feel like i need to eat something. Hmm. never mind that. Went for napfa training, haaii. So few people !! made it sound like it was so necessary. Turns out its not. But i love the feeling of training ( or so to speak ). teakwondo was so much fun. At least the training was. Nobody seemed to understand how much team effort counted , more importantly making everyone feel necessary. Its both ways really and i held out for as much as i could, till i couldnt return because of attachment. So let it go. But i will take it us in NS ( i think its possible right ). So im not going to let it go so simply. Neither am i going to stop french, will continue later on. If things are left half way. its meant to be continued in another time right. Nothing is ever left undone, unfinished. All loose ends always get tied up. And answer to every question, a fullstop to every doubt. A new beginning to every unseemingly odd ending. Thats when everybody realises why the wait. Why it happened the way it was. Why things never added up. Cuz now... they do. Goodnight ~

oh bother.. Christopher Robin..

2006-01-05T23:21:00.000+08:00

Week 3 of FYP, and still pretty boring. On the plus side, we don't rot like we thought we would [ back then jie and the others perfected the fine art of having latest info ..lol] . As for us, we're perfecting the fine art of crapping big time. What with the extra cold jokes and crows flying around lol. And of course the whole drama by the sidelines. We can Soooo make a hit running drama serial with all the story we gathered. all the plot twists and turns, whahaha. Yeah., so all that aside... Edmund teo msned me today. Said i had to go for training, [ WHO comes up with all these sick rules anyway. Dang!] on top of that the flash programme couldnt run properly after the bluetooth thing couldnt work and then worked . And then msn was acting up, what i typed couldn't be sent out. Sheesh!! how much could i handle lol. Actually alot more , but hmm.. i gt a tad bit pissed. It didnt help with all the heart aches and pukish feeling. Ohh went out to bugis with the rest just now, bought a jacket. oohhh Nice.... :) but soon felt very strange, they were all talking and right infront of me but sounded sooooo distant. then everything got woozy for a while. Family and some friends telling me to go see a doc of course. I will i will.. but lemme go through tomorrow first, see if it gets better arite ;p And so i have to go for the one hour training ( what the?? warm up alone could take half an hour , what we going to do then? cool down?? ) or maybe not depending on my condition whahaha. Till tomorrow ~

Wonder Boy

2006-01-04T17:30:00.000+08:00

They had batman, then bat girl. They had superman, then super girl. Spider man, then sipder woman. But they had wonder woman, so why not a wonder boy/man? lol, never mind me, im just crapping big time here. A friend told me not to be too serious, to let loose a little. lol, we've only met three times, naturally he doesnt see the nut in me. Its fun being happy, to smile, to jump around as if im on ecstacy , haaaa.. today i got party two of project assignments, and truth be told, im very relieved. Its more directional, and has a main purpose. But enough of that, school isn't my main topic of choice. then again, what is? Jolyn's feeling good today, never knew that she was setting her heights elsewhere as well. Teaching, whow. Jun is also contemplating the possibilities. And as for me, this 19 year old is being told by his relatives and family to sign on with the police force. Education will be provided for, and so will the pay ( which is a great incentive ) . But how's the time and schedule? That i will have to check out before the end of this week. Because if i am signing on, im going to do it before next week. Waste no time . ( i wish ), all the time i say that, half the time i'm guilty of that. Anyways, thats what im pretty much doing right now, so yea. see you real soon. Maybe tomorrow soon ;p

and the third makes three.

2006-01-03T20:46:00.000+08:00

Its the 3rd today, the third day of the new year. Not bad, cool hahaa. Peace, bliss and a tad bit of fluster ... lol, how can i not smile. or laugh, for not much of a reason. As said before,. you don't really have to have a reason do you. School's going good,. sometimes irritating recently lol. But thats so much crap. There;s stil so much good around isn't there. project wise, pretty static, its hard not to have any emotional attachment to the project isn't it. I can keep pushing myself, and i almost could, if i wasn't just over the moon hahaa. do i need a better reason?

T'was the most beautiful day

2006-01-03T08:43:00.000+08:00

And that's exactly what it was...

and Thursday, with Love..

2005-12-29T10:47:00.000+08:00

Back from break. And its thursday ! Yee hAa. lol. Its my second week here, and the first week without having jie, shu lei, denise etc. around.

Its been about 5 solid years since i last felt the christmas spirit, maybe more i dont know. But this time, this year, i was long expecting the best christmas in a loong time, and indeed it was. Home filled with family , ties getting closer, broken ties being mended, the magic of christmas, which i was telling everyone to embrace this season, was upon my family as well. A simple smile, straight from the heart, is all it takes to melt a hardened heart. Not even the most stoned person could resist the call of love could they. Something almost happened, but its only made me happier now, that i let it out, like there's nothing to weather through because its pure bliss in the first place. Pure bliss. Now in two days time, 2005 will leave and 2006 will enter, stage right lol. Thank you angels ~

Back to school stuff. Things looking brighter i feel.. self motivation is very much needed. Just wake up with a smile and a glint in the eye, and everything will go well. Smile and laugh. who needs a reason to do so? aren't they reason enough to just happen? Yesterday = 28th dec. Jason and sharifa's birthday. Had a great day i hope. Though a certain someone was getting on my nerves , lol better just be thankful it was his birthday , or else ...lmao. What would i do? i wouldn't know either. When pain is turned to pleasure, nothing hurts anymore, because it's another reason to smile.. Just another else to laugh at.. Just another . Have a Good day, because im having one right now.

Friday with rage..

2005-12-23T13:16:00.000+08:00

Back from yesterday : after lunch, things did get better, started on the Flash tutorials, moods got tons better, n when i met up with malar and shahana, yea, i was in the best of moods, though they were not.. Anyways, today though, its been really sick so far. Just feel like i need to hit someone or something. Dont ask me why, cuz i have no reason for it either. Darn the feeling of rage.. one could just about do bad things. of course , trying not to, but i keep retorting with a kind of tone that isnt doing many good. Hmm.. hopefully, everythign would seem better.. poor lab tech jolyn, she said hello but i only said im early today. Odd how the words flowed out of my mouth when it was clearly not how i wanted to address people. Let the flames die down, till then. Merry Christmas~

day Four: to slack or not to Slack.

2005-12-22T16:05:00.000+08:00

That is the question. Big time bummer... here i am, fourth day into the project, 2nd last day of schooling for those before us. I have my project details, and im available to start at any time, in fact i should have started. But what can i say,today is not exactly happy haha kinda day. Im just super rotting right now. And amazing thing of the day. We are going to be the show case of the day. Yee haaa . YEah right... Micheal wee is in our lab now, telling us the usual, be nice . do not surf the net .. bla bla bla. I am so close to resigning this days work. I have already been looking through the stuff the last two days. Including the fact that we should have been entitled to at least a few days break. I’ve decided that if they are not giving it, I’ll just take it myself. Other then having the little act later, I would just relax today, I may continue with my work in a bit. But for now, just don’t ask me to do anything else other then faze out. Its too taxing to even think of Flashlite or Sushi server ( what’s with the “ Oh gosh! Im so cute!” kinda name. Its very puke-worthy if you ask me. Hmm, of course, this hasn’t started out to be the best days since the environment lacks one thing, spunk n some love. Its dead and dreary. But hopefully that will only last till after our next break at most. Anything more and what simplesoul said yesterday will have to be repeated in another few days time. haAaa. Crystal, the transition has begun. How long it will take I have no absolute idea, but it will take time, that much I’ve read . The decision has been made. And therefore, I shall slack till the break does it apart. Hopefully, I will have some hardworking streak return to me. Oh please OH Please!! Let the grouch stop and be placed back to whence and where it came from, and in its place, let peace and a good mind reign. Just like Santa on his reindeers, let it be just that, bliss. See now im just talking big time crap. Haaii.. just shoot me ~

back to school.. yaay??

2005-12-20T22:30:00.000+08:00

And im back at school. Yee haa? or bleah? The initial wonder of finally seeing my friends.. eys its still tehre. its fun with beign with xx and all! very! But then theres classs..plus side.. gt jun, james and denise for one week more.. and the lab is the slackest and least rule driven of all labs.. Yayy! but then.. theres soo many breaks.. and with no real lesson and all.. its kinda draggy.. cuz we almost walk aoround aimlessly..theres jolyn the technician in class.. who seems nice to us. but evil to others in other classes. lol cuz she have to make sure of our lab ma i guess.. other then that can do lots of things in lab wor.. lol one weeks time n xx they all go off aredi.. haaii.. gonna be boring .. maybe..unless we become gssips queens/kings too lolol nt very hard eh.. Annnd.. Ben is on mc for 19 days.. poor boy. hope he gets we ll soon. real soon. bless him. Will see him soon. AAAaannd.. jason tonning at our class lol.. cuz his class.. *nobody wants him * lol.. crazy fellar.. ended up msning me when he;s right beside me!! n i can still reply!! haaii what to do. sian till like crap aredi.. with shu lei n the rest giving us tips on how to enjoy FYP.. lets just hope their attachment goes well .. Yeee Haaa
~

Curtain call

2005-12-16T18:22:00.000+08:00

Okay then, here goes, its the last day here, at the knowledge director. This day has been moving very slowly, let me enjoy every aspect of this place. Im going to be walkign out these gates, and maybe never coming back. The final minutes. Didnt expect to be this attached though i was very happy, about leaving about coming back to school. Then, well , have been a part of this company for 2 months plus now, Many things happened. good times bad times lmao. Funny things, and now, its time to go. Thank you guys for making me feel very welcome, no added pressure. People came and went, and wow. It honestly has been great. A longing feeling now. that of rememberance and smiles. Got irritated having to come so early to work. but now, im going to have to leave earlier for school lol. New things await then. Have fun guys, im off. To another place, and till another time, gBye.

everything for a reason

2005-12-13T21:23:00.000+08:00

the title would speak for itself, wouldn't it

last days..

2005-12-12T21:42:00.000+08:00

Its the last week of attachment.. Its going to be great finally being able to meet friends , be back at school. But going back to project work of course. Was talking to a friend, asked me certain things.. Made me think. Is THIS what i really want? but if i dont, what do i really want then. I've learnt to say its enough, dont have much wants anymore.. then why the question? Once can remain strong and stubborn, until someone plants the seed of question. That alone can turn lives around. Now where lies the answer. That will come in due time, when it must come, then alone it will come. Because everything has an answer.... doesn't it?

It's 10:43 AM..

2005-11-25T10:44:00.000+08:00

And the date is 26th of Nov, actually its supposed to be the 25th, but Nooo.. i had to change the clock to the wrong date, and i cant change it back cuz if i did, the programs in here will not work. haHAaa.. so now im stuck a day ahead the rest. Its odd how time can change a person almost anyway and everyway possible.. but to stand tall amidst anything, thats not eally easy. And if a person can do that, definitly garnered respect wont you say so. Time heals wounds. or does it. Everybody knows the phrase, forgive and forget, but almost only a handful are capable of that. Only but a handful. How many can stand up and say, i have forgiven all who have wronged me in the past, and what they have done, it is now forgotten. Living life once *or maybe not* , how would one want to live it. going into the grave with past hatred, and vengeance? Boy is that going to help hahaaa.. I guess with each step you take, with lesson you learn, eventually you will forget. But how long would that take? 30 years? 50 years? Or simply said, only at your deathbed? Quite sad to see that one understands many things only at such situations. And for some, not even then. If but one person and just one person can come up and say that he/she was a good person, thats all it takes to know that a person does have their good sides, no matter even if you have been on the wrong end of that. Why am i ramblign so much? lol God knws. i am 19. and glad to say , i have forgiven all who have wronged me, and as of now, forgotten. Though it wont take very long to get me angry again lol. but life's a cycle. It never ends. So when such a situation comes, i'll deal with it in a different way. In a way which i have come to understand. Life on earth is far too short to bear any past wounds, false hopes and pointless ego. Learn, then Let it all go, and watch the difference it makes.

11 / 11

2005-11-11T15:07:00.000+08:00

hahaHAaa.. first up.. i had the best birthday ever. lol unexpected turn on events. Anyway... just after feeling really bleak and all.. Went to fiona's party rem. Yeap.. it was okay lol more laughing with expired salsa and dirty cups hahaaa.. and there she was asking who else are nov babies.. lol. Just kept shut. Once back down, there was lightning all over the place.. apparently hit this building, there was a blackout and the fire alarmds were freaking screaming all over. My gdness it was the loudest.. my ears gone deaf on one side.. but i dont seem to knw which side. Then everythin back to normal, putting up pictures, found a dead lizard, the nails wouldnt go in the wall, instead it few back with sparks and all LOL.. then the alarms came back on again. Freaking alarmss....... urrhhhh.. Then busy crapping with dena, huishing, cornelia,rb,cat all simultaneously, oh yes.. not forgetting sharifa and xx. Jesus.. i was going.. whoooww.... now we knw what im really doing here ah lol. hahAaaa... arite then
Today is 11 / 11. A very interesing date with a very interesting event. Earths vibrations. check that. Went for thai food today. Maaann... it was good... had green curry first time ever, it was in one word.. whoow.. it was authentic and all u c.. so yea. With all the spices n all my flu gt cured.. yeee hAaa... but when i breathe i swear i smell the spices inside of me.. bleah.. good anyways.. wanna bring some friends over sometime. and with that, im startign to feel sleepy.. what with food and air con. good music. mmmm..... life's good..

tied-

2005-11-10T13:57:00.001+08:00

Hmm its one of those days .. haaa.. where im slowly slowly losing interest. It gets kinda boring when one has to sit and do Flash constantly. The attachments going good so far. Many things going on now and then. Fiona's birthday today.. they're all planning a surprise which cant really be a surprise anymore since maureen said Fiona already saw the cake.. she's prone to checking out the the stuff at the 3rd floor whenever she's around. but honestly the 4th floor is looking good. after the rearrangement and stuff, yea.. looking better then before. And then there's the 3rd floor lol. Smells of curry and chicken rice anthea said. She's the big boss. But hey, im still wondering why the 3rd and 4th floors are sooo different. Im guessing cuz the top floors gt the girls and the 3rd floor doesnt. Yea.. organization skills and a knack for making eveyrthing look good is a womans high point. Writing all of this out is actually in an absurd way making me smile. Lol.. now if only i can get my mind to work to focus on work. it just doesnt seem to be working , though i am making progress... Alright then, off to see what else i can dig up from my head.. i need inspiration in editing these Flash files.. to incorporate new pictures against the old ones.. Aaaaahhhhhhh..

all's well that....

2005-11-02T13:34:00.000+08:00

hmm, plans plans plans.. down down doooown....

Three days too many

2005-10-31T18:01:00.000+08:00

And thank you, yes its been a few days since the last post, more importantly, its that many more days closer, to my birthday. Aaahh.. finally, the closer the day, the greater the feeling.Its a good feeling, and im hoping hard with crossed fingers that the days goes well. No way am i going to waste this day, not at all. The clock is ticking, and works almost over for the day, haHAaa.. then its deepavali tomorrow, going visiting, then its work on wednesday, then Birthday, ho hum.. then its friday, back to work. Did i mention that im really waiting for thurs.. lol Merci Beaucoup!! hmm now that sounds odd... okay.. its madonna with her aBba remake.. finally.. been days since i heard that song. And after today, its one day less..

A good day undone.

2005-10-28T13:27:00.000+08:00

Maaan... bleah. Was supposed to meet a friend to day. but the very first message this morning.. sorry, i cant make it today. how about sunday. This weekend is not good for going anywhere cuz im having prayers going on. So yea. Bummer. But managed to get other friends, hopefully we all wun be dead from work lol. But more importantly, Next Thursday, hari raya.. and my birthday. *grins* hahAa.. i dont need presents i dont need wishes.. all i want is for a good day to happen. the last three birthdays werent exactly limelight stuff mainly cuz they all fell on days where i had some major exam. My entire poly life , birthdays spent doing exams. Maybe hats why im pretty excited about this one. I finally get the day to myself! i'd have to work if it wasnt for it being hari raya also. Thank You God!! I know i dont want to just sit at home the entire day.. soo.. hahAa.. plans, plans.. and more plans.. Just hope it goes well. Less then a week away. cheers*

The.

2005-10-26T20:32:00.000+08:00

Odd title if you ask me. But it feels right Lol. Getting to blogging slightly more regularly now. Probably cuz of the time i have in front of the com. Now, after last week, this week has been .. in one word, better. Its a good feeling. Not to mention that for this week, the room got wet and nobody realised how much water had seeped into the building till it covered quite a large area lol. Then spent the next few minutes laughing at the situation haHAaa..~ First week it was rearranging the layout, then the treat, then the blackout and now this hahAaaa.. Okay okay. Shahana's going off to india tmrw. Actually got round to catching up wif quite a bit of my friends.. sec school and more. It was great with cornelia n faz the other day. We were laughing the entire time. Though im suspicious of sumthing lol, i dont really care any more. And so i speak in odd languages once again. Oh.. and was this american guy, Chadwick is his name.. He just came up to me and started talking and talking like he knew me. Introductions and all. HahAaa.. cornelia had two theories on that, which i shan't go into arite lolol.. In any case, i'll leave it here for now. Night*

definitive_

2005-10-22T21:33:00.000+08:00

this past week has been somewhat different from usual yes. then again, everyday's never really the same. This week actually succumbed to darn monday blues. What can i do when it just all goes kinda bad. Work is not so eay, yet not so hard. I just dont like Flash so much. Anyway.. yep, caught up with cornelia n nurfaz. Who would forget them right, lol used to be a good group, all the crap we crapped and all the fun we had. N im gonna meet them tmrw !! arite! lol, been a loong time since we met. On tues, first thing in the morning, had bad news. What can i say, i just dont like being the cause or reason for sumthing bad happening, worse still, if i didnt knw that it was happening. No details once again. Yea, so that doused the entire day. Bummer. Next few days going good, with meeting talking more to Siva sir, if i may call him that, and laughing out louder at work. Hmm things are happening again, good , i feel. But the wk ended nt very nicely. After major laughing sessions online with cornelia and all her crazy wooHoos, met up with her on fri , for dinner. Didnt knw she was working so close to where i was also. Ya.. gt some nt very nice update from her, partially cuz i sorta pestered her. Was disappointed yes. to top it off. caught sight of the one person i wasnt too happy with. I thought it was all over me, but i guess it just still hurt , so nvm, im all better tdy. Still wondering about the way pple can be. *sigh*. Still very much smiling , though today has been slow , with the renovation thing going on, the house is a complete mess.. bleah.. talking with dust in my mouth. haHAaaa.. 3 more days left. Just 3 more. *kps hoping n wishing.*

Quiet times,Silent smiles

2005-10-19T12:40:00.000+08:00

Its not exactly bustling arnd here. But its still all good. The first two sentences : before i went for lunch. And the rest of this crap, after. I wanted to type other things, but i lost my mood, here's why: Lunch today was prata.. with egg.. sounds like breakfast. Not when they are the size of pan pizzas. Im no dustbin for crying out loud.. those things were HUGE... and oily. It was so oily.. i think i tasted oil instead of whatever it was i supposed to taste. Yep. i can still feel it floatigg i my body. Bleah* And with that. i wont waste anymore time. Gotta get back to work. Flash, Flash and more Flash. Not too bad, for sumone who's nt great with it. Its raining outside. Im going to do my work.. in silence.with visits from friends via MSN. Smooth.

the knowledge director

2005-10-14T16:04:00.000+08:00

thats the place im attached to right now. Currently just really bored.. tired from constantly trying to correct this template.. ugh.. but apart from work itself,, the people are just great, friendly and family-like are juts two words to name. Yesterday we all went to banana leaf. That was the best in two weeks. Less then two weeks i have been in here, and im enjoying myself. While i hear from others about hectic work lifestyles and no friends and such. im the only one here on attachment. Which is kinda ironic cuz it didnt take long to fit in. All funny in their own ways, especially like how they think about where we should go for lunch, and how the guys are on the 3rd floor and the girls on the 4th. But thats about to change soon. Within the first week i was here, the office layout had changed, and two people are going on holidays. One's going to get married, happy for him. Then there's having to walk past hotel 81 daily, cuz its just nearby. Oh . what i do love the most is the distance. Only 10-15 mins from home. Big diff from school.. Miss my friends. yep, but its fun here, so i want to enjoy all of my 2 and a half months, despite the 9 and a half hour work day. Yep. Thats a down point. even so, realised i could do so much more then i thought, especially with Flash. And i didn't like Flash at all. Fri's are a bit slow , prob cuz its the wkend. And these two weeks has brought about much for me to smile about. How can i not :)

and the cows come running home

2005-09-22T17:32:00.000+08:00

Voh jesus.. finally. Wee hOo.. Exams are over, holidays have begun about 3 hours ago. and im already bored to bits. I feel so aimless. after all those sure fail papers [ 3825, 3822] todays m comm paper was a wun der Fool blessing. The paper is so similar to wat was studied. n the paper could be done in less then an hour.. once agn people.. Wee Hoo.. n so marks the end of the first sem of the third year. And the beginning of the one week holiday, before attachment begins. ANd i have still as yet not heard of which company i;ll be atatched to. Nidta says its because the big Boys at NYP feel that an interview is not required for some people. What im afraid is if the big boys decide to keep me with them. Thats not a good thing. Cuz i dont work for free brother.. i slave, u pay. this sem spent sooo much time at blk n lvl 5. The keys are gng to be handed over .. no problem. Turns out sharifa is also gng on attachment. Great for her. And james gt a call from cyber land.. here i am still counting my days . -------- Hmm, jie just told me she's gng to sleep.. ----- tell me for wat ............................... lolol. Anyway, lets hope the results turn out good. Tmrw still gng back to school.. for shane's math paper. it was like a walk down familiar town today. Everywhere i turn.. i see people i knw . That alwys happen on those feel good days . and now i'll continue aimlessly surfing the net. the oars of the sampan are still rowing!

peace smeesh..

2005-09-13T20:00:00.000+08:00

Lol..!! haHAA.. the projects are done! sure.. they may lack the greatness of a good project.. but they got one thing alot of those who completed didnt have.. :)_ originality. haHA.. so many people turned out to have had major help from other sources, or so it seems. Nvm that. Huge drama gng on today in the lab of N502. talk about a good storyline for a drama based on students.
Micheal wee was saying that the codes were shared ny three sources.. and maybe he sshould just split the marks by all three grps. lol.. i didnt have anything to fear.. cuz of course.. i didnt take anybodys codes.. but the bad thing was.. i only had less then half og the requirements. But hey. at least i can call it mine lol. No offence la.. i just feel so good.. a lot of pple made it through .. ! gd news to all of us. now.. i just feel sooo relaxed. For once the headaches have stopped.. Lol. weeee Hoooo....

let's talk about me. shall we.

2005-09-06T21:39:00.000+08:00

Projects and deadlines has kept me from updating any sooner. Plus, the initial gloss and glitter of the blogging world has subsided. People are into Vlogging now. Not that i would or could do it ah.. Anyways.. alls good and going. Just writing for self satisfaction, not viewership ratings.. :) How can a person feel good and bad, sorry and vengeful, all at the same time.. ? Im sayin he can, if he's capable of laughing in practically any situation at all. Sheesh, my friend thinks im gng nuts.. lol.. Crazy or overly optimistic, u decide. But the Java project has got every other friend cursing and swearing at lil ol' micheal.. the poor guy, if he doesnt sleep well for days, he should probably know that this is why. Besides that , discoveries have been made.. 'Yes men, we have landed in new ground!' Without the link of the club ( which otherwise would not have been worth much in a life ), it would have been almost impossible for the part on self realization. And to think that im not alone. lol.. blessed. nvm, lets not go there anymore. The weathers fine, the people aren't and well, attachment's on the way. And by what denise said, we'r going to have to cheer/chant, ring some bells, n give out flyers.. what in the world??!! in short, major embarassing moment coming right up. *sigh* with that, i'll leave you to get back to your dreary existence called life. Cheers*

stillness and quiet of the mind

2005-08-12T20:46:00.000+08:00

Wow, n i do mean. wow.. changes seem to be taking place really pretty fast, yet they seem so insignificant in the daily lives.. bad habits are fast becoming a thing of the past, control is so much more in the dictionary of my life. Apart from studies, ( thats still abit shaky ), things around just seem to be falling just nicely. And yes, even dider's contradicting opinions don't get me worked up. Then again, apart from studies, nth else gets me tensed. There is something though.. the whole reason why i think change is happening. It was so hard to control last time, n wow.. its gone, poof.. Seemed like only yest when i was regular regular kavi, doin wat he usually did, gd stuff bad stuff, all of it to a fault. Then one fine day, learning about it opened the doors to a new world, literally. The soul feels much more accomplished,. and it has a long way to go before proving worthy. Never lose hope cuz that and faith will bring you through it, as will the Teacher. Meditation, talk about out of the world.